I feel like I get to this point in the fall where all I want to do is 'get organized, started, motivated', etc. I go a million miles an hour during the summer and then I stop when fall starts. Yesterday was the start of fall, if we're basing it on the school year. My baby girl started kindergarten. So I'm blogging again to try to get organized.

Let me back up and recap the chaos of this summer.
May-July is a blur. Tons of prep for a mission trip to Peru. Nick and I led a team of 38 to a small town outside of Cusco. Loved it. Grew a lot. Really tired. We went camping right before that in Southern Oregon on the Rogue River for our annual family 'camping' trip. Really we just stayed in a deluxe trailer with hookups. No complaints. The kids loved it and got crazy dirty. It was fantastic. Last year's post on the cinnamon roll guy will sum up how awesome the trip is. This year all the kids got up before the sun and waited for him to pull into the campground. About 8am, they asked the park ranger where the cinnamon roll guy was. He told them he'd died about 10 months prior. The kids were so sad. But it brought about amazing conversation with Reagan about death and the choice we have to make when we're here on earth. Then Peru, then Hume, and we're heading up to Hume again today for Labor Day, then back up to Southern Oregon for my Beautiful Grandma's wedding. Yep, she's gettin' hitched. We're all so happy for her and thrilled that for the first time in her life, she will get to be taken care of. All my Grandma has ever done her entire life is care for others. Her Grandparents, parents, in-laws (I watched this first hand growing up), her husband, her children, her grandchildren, her great grandchildren. Also ex-cons, stray dogs, and the homeless. She is my hero and exemplifies Matthew 25:35. She is my hero. More on Virgie to come after the wedding on the 10th, which my sister and I will be shooting at;).

I am tired. I am worn out. And it's good. More than just life events, I wanted to share a little about what God's been teaching me this summer.

1. I have 2 ears and one mouth for a reason.
2. I am thrilled that I can ask Him for wisdom and He freely gives it.
3. My way isn't always THE way.
4. The weight of parenting is heavier on my heart than ever
5. Now is not the time for another child to come into our family, which breaks my heart.
6. My heart is for missions and orphans.
7. I don't care what people think. I care what God thinks.
8. I lack self control.
9. I have some of the most amazing best friends in the world. Carrie, Nat, Jennelle, Sally, Kendra, Michelle. I cherish them.
10. The old testament gets wacky sometimes but is so rich.
11. I don't want to waste my life on things.
12. I am more in love with Jesus than I ever have been, and for me, it started with my understanding of Judah's adoption.
13. I am 'a wretched, poor and helpless worm, on Thy Kind Arms I fall' is the greatest phrase I have ever heard in my life.
14. My life is simply not mine. No matter how long or how much I fight this principle.
15. God doesn't need me.
16. I am finding so much joy in praying and watching God unfold the story.

And some non-spiritual things too:
1. I love to repurpose. My new favorite show is Picker Sisters. That'll have to be another post.
2. I love pinterest.
3. I don't love facebook anymore.
4. I have a renewed love for reading.
5. I am so enjoying gardening. It's so relaxing and fun to learn.

I know this post is a little out there, but I think this is just kinda how my brain works...it's everywhere. I don't think in one direction. It's weird, but I'm learning to come to terms with it and at the same time, be organized through it.

So Reagan started Kindergarten! My baby.... I totally cried. Yep. I was that mom. I'm so proud of her as she grows up, and so reminded to be on my knees for her. Parenting is the hardest job in the world.

Back to Mare Island

So this is my 2nd time shooting at Mare Island and the first time I've been kicked out. Again, this place is crazy weird and I may been trespassing this time... really?! Trespassing what? Please leave a comment if you've ever been to this ghost Naval Base. Still, it leaves amazing room for photography and I love every square inch of it!

While my Grandpa was out to sea in WWII, my Grandma worked at Mare Island. I guess she'd even go down to the ship yards in SF and wait for all the sailors to get off their boats hoping it would be her husband coming home, but in the mean time, worked here in support of the war. So we decided to take a step back into the 40's with my gorgeous cousin, Natalie and our friend Payton to recreate what once was. We even had my Grandpa's Seabee uniform; so so fun! For more pictures and a much more thorough story, visit my sister's blog.

Absent

My sister just told me I need to update my blog. I should yes, but am not near my computer...I'm in the car. But I will later on tonight....were shooting my cousins wedding in Sacramento tomorrow and did a fun 40's style shoot on Mare Island last night that was so much fun! More to come.....

Meet John Robert, also known as Jack to his closest friends

Have I ever mentioned how much I love newborn photography? It is just so much fun! And if you know me on a personal level, you will know that I do not ever, ever, ever desire to be pregnant again. As in, factory closed. I do want more kids, but based on my 2 experiences of pregnancy that I've had, I wouldn't choose it. God may choose it, but I am not planning it for myself. Here's a brief rundown as to why Becky does not want more pregnancies:

-I hate getting fat. And I do. If I'm not doing the diabetic diet which leads me too...

-I want sugar and can't have any if I do the diabetic diet because....

-I am married to a man con un cabeza gigante. My bio babes have gigante heads at birth and according to my doc, I have a small pelvic frame. To be clear, this does not mean small hips. This means the part where the baby enters the world and leaves your belly. Mine is small, my babies' heads are huge. I did the diabetic diet to get a smaller baby with my second. Attempt #2 was what the c-section nurses called a "failed VBAC attempt." This leads to...

-Even though I have THE most amazing OBGYN (who has told me I could try again for a VBAC based on his 20+ years of experience and my birthing history), he tells me my body can probably handle 2 more c-sections.

-C-sections. Ever had one? Chances are you wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy. With my first, I came home from the hospital, only to return to the ER 2 hours later with a raging infection on my incision, followed by 9 days of pumping every 3 hours around the clock to try to re-start breast feeding with my first. (good news: it worked!)

-Breast feeding!? No mas porfa. Basta.

-Let me not fail to mention how I am soooo not a good newborn mother. I need to sleep. Let me rephrase that....I MUST SLEEP. If I don't sleep I am: mean, angry, not self-controlled, etc. I am a train wreck without it. I don't know HOW women go on no sleep. Thank you Lord for my husband!

These are just a few reasons why I, in my own opinion, should never be pregnant again. But here's the cool thing - I LOVE newborns. I love to photograph them for about 3 hours, get my fill, and pass them back to mom and dad. It's great! I totally get my newborn fix and don't have to birth them to experience it! The best of both worlds.

Will I have kids again? Probably not by birth. By adoption? I certainly hope so! We're just gonna get through this "3 under 5" stage we're in before we start talking about it again...

Just One Of Those Days

The weather was warming up, but it's gotten colder as of late and even rained buckets yesterday. Something about Jude's respiratory system does not like that change in weather. Whenever it gets cold quick, he starts weezing and slips right into a cold. We have a humidifier in his room at night and a little heat, which seemed to help yesterday. Today I'm thankful that albuterol is crazy cheap, that I can pick up the phone and get a refill (will do that later on today) and that we live in a country where Judah can have this kind of treatment for his cold weather induced asthma.

Heart Check

Our pastor has been going through 2Tim2 for a while now and this past Sunday he wrapped up a series on it. I wanted to share it because it was so challenging for me (in the good way!) "Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."

While driving home from our school shoot I had the best time with my business partner. Somewhere on the Grapevine and 2 am, we talked about what we're doing with our lives. They are quite possibly at least half over. We said we wanted to live our lives for Jesus - nothing more. Not the stuff, not the pursuit of it, not the ways of our pasts, not the old, but the new. We want everything we do to be for His glory, right down to the music we listen to, to the way we treat our husbands, to the way we talk in front of our kids, etc. etc.

And then to come home to hear this message....It's as if the Lord was preparing me. Funny how that works!

Wisdom from Proverbs 9

v7 He who corrects a scoffer gets dishonor for himself. And he who reproves a wicked man gets insults for himself.

v8 Do not reprove a scoffer, lest he hate you. Reprove a wise man, and he will love you.

v9 Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser. Teach a righteous man, and he will increase his learning.

v10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

v11 For by me your days will be multiplied and years of life will be added to you.

v12 If you are wise, you are wise for yourself. And if you scoff, you alone will bear it.

This song is not connected to the above verses, but it's such a great song, so I thought I'd pass it on: